10 Reasons Why
by untouchable.forever.and.always
Summary: Comes from the book 13 Reasons Why. Massie Block has committed suicide, no one knows why but once the tapes she left behind show up to 10 different people they will learn the truth.
1. Derrick

Derrick Harrington stood on his walkway staring at the package that had been left on his door step. He couldn't help but wondering who it was for. Well there was only one way to find out. Picking up the package he saw that it was for him but it had no return address. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed some scissors, and ripped it open. To his surprise it was a box full of cassette tapes.

Why would someone send him cassette tapes? He looked around the kitchen for his mom's old cassette player that she was always carrying around. Her taste in music baffled Derrick sometimes. Pulling out all of the tapes he wondered where to start and when he noticed that there was numbers on each side of the tapes.

So Derrick picked up the first one, put it in the player, and pushed play. What he heard after that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Massie's voice was playing on the cassette but that was impossible because…because Massie…killed herself two weeks ago. Pushing back the tears Derrick pushed paused and tried to pull himself together. Why was she doing this to him? The love of his life killed herself and all he wanted was to hear her voice again. Well he got his wish.

He took a deep breath and pressed play.

_So if you're listening to this then I probably finally did what I found myself scared to do. I killed myself. Yeah that's right. I'm not afraid to admit it and I'm not scared to say that I, Massie Block, killed myself with a handful of pills. You are probably wondering why you're listening to this and why I even made these tapes. Well the answer is simple. You are one of the reasons why I killed myself._

Derrick was stunned. How could he have been one of the reasons? All he did was give her what she wanted. Love.

_I know what you're thinking again. How could I be one of the reasons? Trust me you will soon find out. On each side of these tapes has a number. Each number belongs to a person and hopefully that person will pass it on to the next number behind him or her. If you fail to do so, I have backup copies so all of your precious secrets will be out in public. They are my secrets to but I'm dead so it won't really matter._

_So who is the first on this list of mine? Just one guess. So let's begin shall we?_

_Derrick Harrington. The supposed love of my life._

Derrick sat there and couldn't believe that he was here listening to this. He had idea of why he was on here but didn't want to think about it.

_For the record I did love Derrick Harrington with all my heart. The question is how much did he love me? Apparently not that much considering. So we had been dating…how many months Derrick? 4? 6? I don't maybe….12. Yeah that's right a whole entire year filled with so much love and memories. Some I would rather forget and others I wish I could remember for a lifetime_

_What I'm about to tell you definitely falls under the category of the memories I rather forget. I remember it was our one year anniversary and we had just said goodnight when I heard rocks being thrown at my window. Sounds romantic, right? Well who do I find under my window but Derrick Harrington. Without even waiting for me to say something you climb through my window and start kissing me….except I knew you wanted more. I'm sorry Derrick but I didn't wanna give you more than that._

_You got mad. Do you remember what you said, Derrick? I do. I won't ever forget. You said, "It's been a freaking year, Mass. How long do you expect me to wait?"_

Derrick winced when he heard Massie saw those words. He had to admit that yes he was expecting more but he wouldn't have pressured her like that. Or at least he tried not to. It didn't work very well.

_Then I got pissed and told you to leave. The next morning I find roses at my front door step with an apology. So like every other time I forgave you. But unlike every other time something back was going to come with it. I think you know what I'm talking about Derrick._

_The Monday after our anniversary when I walked into school with people whispering as I walked by. You think I would be use to it but these weren't whispers of envy they were whispers of pity. And I DON'T do pity. So I go to you hoping to get some answers when I see you with your buddies. Unfortunately for you Derrick I have an eavesdropping problem. So I heard everything that they said. "Dude so did you get some Saturday?" Josh asked you. You answered, "Who, Massie?" They all laughed like it was funny._

"_Yes of course Massie. Was she any good?" they all seemed to ask. At first I thought you were gonna tell them the truth but that just goes to show how naïve I am. "Best I ever had," you said. Well it's good to know I was pretty good considering we had never done it before, Derrick. So when rumors started to make their rounds that I had given it up to you, you didn't even try to stop it. You didn't deny it. You actually made it worse by feeding it the lies you told your friends. _

_I guess that proves how much I meant to you. And how much you loved me. I hope one day a girl comes along and gives you a good kick in the balls because I know I would never have the guts to. Good to know what I truly meant to you Derrick but will you ever know what you meant to me? No you won't_

Then the tape stopped and the static became deafening. Derrick wanted to kick himself in the balls for what he did to her. He had lied and said he had got some from Massie but he didn't think it had been such a big deal. Well he was definitely wrong.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever but I had to redo this story because the previous one didn't feel right. So tell me if you like it! Review!**

**Love Always,**

**Em**


	2. Alicia

Derrick pushed open his front door and began walking. He didn't know if he had the guts to even listen to the rest of the tapes. But he had to know that this wasn't all of his fault. That there were other people to blame. With shaking hands Derrick pulled out the tape and switched sides. Massie's voice filled his ears once again.

_So after that lovely story it couldn't get any worse, right? Nope wrong. It's going to get much, much worse. But I'll get to that later. Right now I wanna talk to you about someone who was supposed to be my best friend and help me in my time of need. Instead when the rumors started to spread I got more and more insecure. I was afraid everyone was looking at me differently. That I wasn't the alpha anymore._

I knew the name of the person even before she spoke it. I wasn't the only one who had let her down. Her own best friend betrayed her.

_If you haven't guessed yet the next person on the tape is none other than the slutty Alicia Rivera. So tell me Alicia how does it feel to know that you were responsible for my downfall? Wait you can't answer that and you know why? Because I'm dead. And it's partly your fault. Are you happy now?_

I knew that when Alicia got these tapes she would be devastated. She had always had a soft spot for Massie but craved the spot light more.

_I told you everything. I even told you the truth about Derrick and I and what did you do? You used it against me. You used every single thing about me to feel weak and powerless so that you could take over. Did you crave the alpha spot so much that you would do that to your own best friend? Apparently so but just so you know I never considered you a friend after that._

_So you're thinking why the hell should this matter? All catty girls do this. Well it mattered to me because I had no one to stand by me because she turned everyone against me, even Derrick._

I physically winced.

_Not only that but she kicked me when I was down and left me with nothing. Also she set me up to be…well okay we'll get to that later. That story is meant for another tape and I hope you know what I mean Kemp Hurley._

I frowned. What had Kemp ever done to her? I mean meaningless flirting isn't a crime.

_So I guess you all know that Alicia didn't stay in command for too long. Mainly because She. Couldn't. Handle. It. It was too much for her and all of her little skanks stabbed her in the back like she stabbed me. I can honestly say that you deserved it Alicia. After all you had done to me you deserved that and a whole lot more. But guess who came crawling back to me about a week after she turned into an outcast? That's right Alicia Rivera. Like she would be able to weasel her way back into my life like nothing ever happened. I forgive, Alicia. But I never forget._

_  
_The sharpness in her words stunned me. I never knew that Massie had dislike Alicia that badly. Of course there were probably a lot of things that I didn't know.

_So that wasn't that bad, was it? Rumors spread about me. Typical high school. A good friend stabs me in the back. Again typical high school. But what is about to come next is definitely not typical high school. It takes place at a certain party with a certain boy. Don't worry Alicia I'm not done with you yet. The spot light is still on you._

_Rape is never typical high school._

With that the tape ended and I balled my hands into fists. What the hell? Kemp freaking Hurley had raped the love of my life? I shouted out in anger and punched the nearest tree. I had left an impression in the bark but it hardly looked scratched. If I ever saw that guy again I would murder him.


	3. Kemp

Derrick walked along the sidewalk listening to nothing but static. He had yet to take the tape out and put a new one in. He didn't know if he really wanted to hear the details of Kemp and Massie together especially when Massie didn't want it. It might send him over the edge and straight toward Kemp's house where he would kill him for doing such a thing. Sighing Derrick reached into his old messenger bag where he had stashed all the tapes and pulled out the second one. Hesitantly he pressed play.

_So are you sure you want to listen to this? I know I told you that you had to but still the details are something that would even make Hulk Hogan cringe. Though I guess I could tone it down a bit so it's not so bad. You would like that now wouldn't you, Kemp? What you did to me is something, even in death, I would ever forget. I still had nightmares about it._

_  
Anyway so you're probably wondering from the previous tape what Alicia Rivera had to do with this. Well it all started at this one party on this one night. Alicia had yet to be dethroned as an alpha so she still had power over people. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE was drunk at this party. I had only one beer but that single beer had been drugged. That's right someone put the date rape drug in my drink._

Her words stung and Derrick felt a pang in his chest. He had been at that party. Why the hell hadn't I noticed that Massie needed help, Derrick scolded himself? He knew the answer to that one. He was so drunk out of my mind that he didn't notice much of anything. This was partly my fault, he thought to myself. Why did this have to happen?

_I knew that something was wrong when everything seemed to spin and I had only had a few sips of beer. I stumbled into a guestroom and sat down on the bed to help focus on my surroundings when I heard the door bust open and in walked Kemp with Kristen on his arm._

_  
Are you sure you want to relive it Kemp? I'm sure that someone listening to this will arrest your ass for this because I know I'm not the only one. Just ask Kristen Gregory but we'll get to that later. Anyway you walked in and actually started to show concern for me. Asking if I was alright and if I needed some help. I was so out of it that I sincerely thought that you cared. Well I was wrong._

_  
Kristen noticed that you were giving your attention to me so she went into the bathroom to puke her guts up as always. That's when things turned very, very wrong. _

I stopped for a second wondering if I really wanted the details. Could I handle it? No probably not but I had to. For Massie.

_You pushed me down on the bed and I tried to fight back with all my might but I didn't have that much strength. I tried to scream for Kristen, for anyone but you just covered my mouth and told me to be a good girl and keep my mouth shut. He didn't remove his hand but I still tried to fight at him. It was no use though. In a matter of minutes my clothes were ripped from my body and on the floor. I won't go into details about how he thought I was totally into it and how he did it over and over again. I just wanted to die right then and there but I didn't._

_What made me really sick was eventually after Kemp left Kristen came out of the bathroom and I knew she had heard everything. Did she try to save me? No she just went to find Kemp. Even though Kemp is to blame so is Alicia Rivera. Wanna know why? Because she's the one that spiked my drink and made sure that Kemp was there when I started to crash._

_So you're probably wondering how I remember all this. Well some of it is fuzzy but Alicia being the complete idiot that she is didn't put enough GHB in my drink to make me completely forget. So I remember some of it. Enough to know that Kemp Hurley deserves to rot in hell for what he did to me. I hope you get what's coming to you Kemp. I really do._

The tape ended and Derrick was breathing heavy from the anger that was burning inside of him. I hated Kemp, he thought to himself. I hated myself. I even hated Massie a little bit for not telling me. Though that was his fault. If he had just told the truth about that night on their anniversary maybe she would still be here. With that positive thought Derrick walked the remaining blocks to Kemp Hurley's house not know what the hell he was doing.

* * *

Rape or abuse is never okay.

If you or someone you know had been a victim there is a website and number below.

Please tell someone because it isn't your fault.

**Number:**

1-800-656-HOPE

Or

**Website:**

.org


	4. Kristen

A/N:Okay I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in forever. Also I've noticed I've been switching from third person to first person so I'm keeping it at third. And that the website didn't show up on the last chapter. My gay computer is to blame for that. So anyway here it is, finally! Hope you enjoy it.

Derrick stood outside of Kemp's house gripping his cassette player. He didn't know what he was about to do. There wasn't much that he could do. Massie was gone. Pounding Kemp's head in wouldn't bring her back and wouldn't do him any good but he needed some sort of closure and Kemp was the closest thing he had. He was about to knock on the door when he heard shouting coming from the inside. Derrick stepped away from the door and ran towards a window close by. He knew spying was wrong but he had to see what was going on.

He saw Kemp sitting on a couch his hand holding an ice pack to his eye. An older burly man walked into the room and started pointing and screaming at Kemp. "Don't you ever say that to me again! Do you understand me?" The voice was muffled but Derrick could make out the words. Kemp looked up at the guy and nodded his head. The older man took the ice pack away from Kemp and slapped him across the face.

Derrick stood there in disbelief. He couldn't believe what was happening right before his very eyes. So maybe Kemp's life more screwed up than he let on but that didn't give him any right to do what he did to Massie. Though standing there Derrick couldn't help but feel a little sympathy. Turning around Derrick started walking again till he reached the park. Sitting down Derrick began the next story Massie had to tell.

_So the next person on the list is actually quite simple which I think is appropriate especially what I had unleashed on you with Kemp. So next on the list is Kristen Gregory. She was there that night. She was right there in that bathroom. Yet she didn't help me at all._

Fury surged through Derrick. He had forgotten. Kristen was just as much as to blame as Kemp. She didn't help Massie at all. Of course he didn't help her either. Derrick mentally cursed himself. Why couldn't he see what he had done to her? With one rumor Massie had spiraled down into nothing. Well now he was paying for it. He stilled loved her even though she was gone.

_So Kristen tell me what was going through your head when you heard Kemp…raping me? That's such an ugly word isn't it? I don't like saying it but that's what happened. I know your weren't thinking of saving me or else you would have came barreling out of that bathroom and would have pulled Kemp off of me. But unfortunately that didn't happen. _

Derrick flinched again when he heard her say the word rape. He didn't like it much either.

_Out of all of those who walked away from me when Alicia took over you were the nicest Kris. I know that's hard to believe especially when dealing with Claire Lyons but she's not as innocent as everyone makes her out to be. But that's a story for a later tape. I thought that maybe one day you would come back and apologize but you were just too wrapped up in the bullshit Alicia was feeding you._

_Anyway so when Kemp finally got what he wanted Kristen came stumbling back into the room. I thought to myself that there was a witness so that we could bag Kemp and get his ass thrown in jail but when Kristen came over to me she didn't say that she was going to help me. Oh no you wanna know what she said? Well here it is:_

"_You stupid whore couldn't you have just kept your pants on and not have fucked my boyfriend?"_

_I was stunned into silence. This is what Kristen Gregory said to me. Sweet little Kristen. Who even drunk was still nice and sweet but no Alicia had turned her into this little vicious girl. Tell me Kristen did Kemp tell you he loved you? If so it was probably to get into your pants. He does that with every girl. Believe me. And if you don't believe me just ask Claire. _

_What happened to all those times we hung out together Kristen? All those times I paid for you? Stuck up for you? And even took care of you when Dempsey dumped your ass. I guess it didn't mean that much to you Kristen now did it? See that's the problem with people like you. Friends are disposable. You can just throw them away and get new ones._

_But you see with me no matter what you do you'll always be my friend. Though I don't know if what you did was forgivable. Sure it was a tiny thing compared to what Alicia and Kemp did but it still hurt. Here I thought my old friend was going come and save me but instead she hurt me again and went off to the two people that had hurt me the most._

_Once you made your way out of the room Kristen I know that you said to Alicia. I heard it clearly even though the room was spinning and my head felt fuzzy. _

"_Did we do good?" you asked Alicia_

_"You did amazing. We finally put that skank in her place."_

Derrick suddenly felt like punching someone. How the hell could these people do this to her? How the hell could he have done this to her? Why didn't we see what we were doing to her? What was happening? What she was about to do.

_Well stayed tuned ladies and gentlemen because you have a long way to go. Six more tapes and they may just rock your world. _

With that Derrick broke down and started crying not only for himself but for Massie and what they had done to her. "I'm sorry Mass," he kept saying over and over again.

"I'm so sorry."


	5. Cam

Derrick sat on a patch of grass at the local park just waiting for the tears to stop forming in the corner of his eyes. But they just kept coming. He couldn't take back what he had done. He couldn't take back what everyone else had done. And he could bring Massie back to tell her how sorry he truly was. That's what really hurt the most.

Tugging on his bag he pulled out another tape with the number 5 on it. A part of him didn't want to have to listen to this anymore. But another part knew that he had to do it. He had to finish it. Massie's pain was overwhelming but he knew that it was only the beginning. He pushed play on his player and lyed down on the grass. Massie's voice filled his ears once again.

_I'm quite surprised that you're listening still after all that has happened. I mean sure that's what I want you to do, to listen to all the tapes, but having to put this out there is scary for me too. To face what I'm about to do. The hardest thing I've ever had to do._

_Anyway since you've gone this far I'll give you a somewhat happy story. The next person on this tape is none other than Cam Fisher._

Cam Fisher? What the hell was he doing on this tape? He had done nothing to Massie. In fact there had been rumors that they had been going out.

_I know what you're thinking how is sweet loveable Cam on this tape? Well its simple really…he's not supposed to be. I know that's weird but I figured if I can tell you everything that led me to my…suicide then I can tell you the one person who actually made me hesitate in my final decision. _

_That's right Cam Fisher actually made me question whether or not I should die. If it was worth it. Or if I was worth living. And it wasn't that he didn't try hard enough in the end it was just that my pain was much stronger than his attempts of saving me. You tried so hard. I'm sorry that you had to waste your time on me._

Derrick sighed. Well, he thought to himself, if I couldn't have tried to save Massie I'm glad it was Cam Fisher.

_I can remember the first encounter we had after all of this was done. It was a long time after the whole Kristen incident and maybe I'm getting ahead of myself but I'll fill you in later. I was sitting on the bleachers during gym listening to 'What A Shame' by Shinedown on my ipod loving the line, "Full of sympathy for a world that wouldn't let him be" when you just plopped down next to me. _

_At first I completely ignored you because I figured that it was another trick because of what had happened with Dylan and Josh. Don't worry you'll learn about that in the next few tapes. You tapped my shoulder and asked for a headphone so you could listen too. Shinedown was your favorite band. _

_Just the fact that you didn't say anything or ask for anything or even laugh in my face made me start to trust you. After that we talked all the time. About nothing. About everything. Nothing was off limits. What was great was that I tried to warn you. I told you that I had quite a bit of emotional baggage but you didn't care. You just liked being with me. You didn't judge me by what you heard._

_And I can honestly say that for the first time since the whole thing started I was…happy. But Claire Lyons had to tear it all apart. I don't blame you Cam for what happened. I wasn't even mad at you. I figured that you would have to leave me eventually but I was sad that you had to go by the hand of Claire. _

Derrick was utterly confused. What had Claire done that had made Cam and Massie stop talking to each other? Though he didn't have to think hard. Cam had broken up with Claire not too long before Massie and him started hanging out. And Claire was definitely the jealous type. Derrick already knew that Claire was going to be on one of these tapes.

_And I hate to say it but what she did…how she left me with absolutely nothing was that final push that I needed. There were no more questions on whether or not I should do it. I just want you to know Cam…it wasn't your fault none of this was ever you fault and…_

_I'm sorry._

With that the fifth story ended and the static returned. Derrick looked up at the sky and wondered when dark would fall. Probably soon but he had somewhere to be. He needed to understand and the only person who knew all of the answers to his questions was his old friend Cam Fisher.

Derrick got up to start walking. He had a long way to go.


	6. Claire

Derrick stood on his old best friend's stoop debating on whether or not to ring the doorbell. He wasn't even sure why he was even here. No that's a lie. He wanted to hear about Massie's final days with Cam because they were only a few days before her death. So with some courage surging through him he managed to ring the door bell.

Cam opened the door immediately. "About time," he said. "You've been chilling out here for awhile."

Derrick gave him an easy smile. Cam always called people out on everything. "Sorry I just didn't know if…if you would even want to talk to me."

Cam nodded his head. "After what happened with Massie."

Derrick nodded. "I'm really sorry about that but she gave me these tapes and I just don't really know what to do…"

Cam laughed bitterly. "So she actually followed through on making those tapes?"

Derrick stood there in disbelief. "How did you know about the tapes?"

"She got them from me. I wish I had asked her why she needed them earlier but she didn't tell me until…right before. She said she needed someone to make sure everyone got them. I tried to save her I really did."

"So you're the one who called 911 that night?" Derrick asked.

Cam sadly shook his head. "Yeah, when she called me she had taken the pills about half an hour before and she kept me on the phone for about ten minutes. What if I had dialed 911 sooner…she may still be here."

Derrick awkwardly touched his shoulder. "Hey the 'what ifs' will kill you but I need to know, what did Massie say right before she died? I don't know why I need to know but I do. I need to know her final words."

Cam pushed Derrick's hand off his shoulder. "You need to finish the tapes. Then I'll talk about all of this with you."

"How do you know I'm not done?" Derrick asked.

"Oh trust me I know." And with that Cam shut the door in Derrick's face.

Stepping off the porch Derrick looked left and right down the street. He saw the cemetery in the distance and instantly made it his next destination. He'd visit her grave site. But on the way he'd see who was next on Massie's list.

_So after that almost happily ever after I'm going to tell you who the person is who made it an ALMOST happily ever after. Miss Claire Stacey Lyons. You heinous bitch._

Derrick flinched at Massie's harsh words. Claire must have done something awful because Massie always treated Claire different. Like she was her sister.

_Everyone in this freaking town thinks Claire is such a sweet innocent girl but she isn't! Not even close. If only they knew half the things she did. Like I don't know sleep with her best friends boyfriend, betray her best friend two separate times, and ripped the only good thing in my life away from me. _

_I knew you were the jealous type Claire but I had nothing, absolutely nothing happy in my life in that moment in time. Cam was the only bright light in my very dark world. You couldn't stand to see me happy especially with your ex-boyfriend. So you freaking took him away from me. I hope you know Claire out of all of these people on these tapes you're the biggest reason why I killed myself. YOU. Not Kempt not Alicia. YOU. _

_How do you feel about yourself now? I hope you loathe yourself. I really do. Because I have never hated someone more in my life._

Derrick could hear the venom in her words and never heard Massie so mad. Not even when Versace couldn't design the homecoming dress she wanted and she was absolutely livid when that happened.

_Cam had taken me out on a date that night and you saw him kiss me. It looked like things were finally turning around and then nothing. He didn't return my calls, my texts. He wouldn't even look at me in the hallway. He actually looked disgusted with me. Why? Because you came crying to him that night telling him that I was spreading awful rumors about you and how mean I was and yadda yadda yadda. What really won him over was the fake text message that you told him I sent you._

_Wow Claire. You really amazed me here. How could you stoop so low as to stealing my phone from me to send you a fake message to get Cam to stay away from me? And I thought I had issues. Well looky now Claire. You got what you wanted and I'm dead. Rotting away in some cemetery. And you're to blame._

_How can you live with yourself?_

_But don't worry too much. There's someone else on this list of mine who is right up there with you. They were the push I needed. They erased the doubt that was in my mind. But don't think that makes you a better person._

_Because it doesn't._

The tape ended and Derrick turned it off. How could all of them have been so mean to her? He thought to himself. All of us were to blame. We were those little pushes she needed to through herself right off that ledge. It started with me and it ends with whoever gave her that last push.

We really were the reasons why Massie Block killed herself.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

To start off I'm really sorry about the late update.

Please don't shoot me.

There's no excuse though I could give you some….school…sports…job…prom…etc.

But I pinky promise I'll try to update again sometime this week.

Thanks for reading!


	7. Josh

Derrick sat in front of Massie's headstone which read: "Massie Julian Block, Beloved friend and daughter". The whole beloved thing was a crock of bullshit, Derrick thought to himself. To be beloved you have to love someone and they have to love you back. Derrick knew that Massie's parent loved her and he knew she loved them back but when it came to her friends…Some didn't love Massie and some Massie didn't love either.

He was pondering how we can go through our lives faking our way and not caring whose toes we stepped on. Massie cared. That was one thing Derrick loved about her. How compassionate she was about the things she believed in. There was no way she was going to let all those people who hurt her get away with what they did.

With those thoughts coursing through his mind he took the tape in his cassette player and switched it to a new side so he could start a new story. He only had four more to go. Four more reasons of why he was currently staring at Massie's headstone.

_Alrighty so after that exciting story about Ms. Not-So-Innocent its time to talk about another guy who crossed my path and not for the better. This one didn't hurt me as bad as some other because by the time he came along I was incredibly numb to everything. But you still hurt me Josh. Just like everyone else._

_We all knew Josh is a notorious player. Different girl every week and you're very special when he even focuses his attention on you. Well one day he focused his attention on me and trust me I didn't feel that special._

_What he did to me was quite simple and not as scandalous and you may think it is. All Josh Hotz did to me was try to get close to me, play with my emotions a little, and then leave me out like yesterday's trash._

_He did things on a weekly basis with plenty of girls. The one thing that really pissed me off though was how he thought he could get away with messing with a broken girl. He really seemed sincere when he talked to me. He told me Derrick was a douchebag and Alicia and Claire were bitches and blah blah blah. I didn't really buy much of it but deep down inside I secretly wished he was sincere. That someone was finally gonna come and save me_

_You know most of us are just waiting to be saved but sometimes...help comes too late._

_Or not at all._

_You really made me see that absolutely no one cared about me anymore. You made me feel absolutely alone. So thank you Josh for making me see how truly alone I was in the world. _

Derrick could hear the brokenness in her voice and it killed him. It really killed him. They all had chances to save her. All of them but they were too blind to see that she was drowning in the numbness that was her world. If only they had taken the time to see.

_So there you go Josh. Not too bad was it? All you did was get to know me and dump me the next week. But don't worry one day you'll meet a girl and she'll be The One. The one you want to spend the rest of your life with. But guess what? She'll break your heart into a million pieces just like you did all those other girls. _

_Another thing: you didn't win. You didn't break me._

_I was already broken._

_And we all know you can break what's already been broken. _

The tape ended and the second her voice was gone Derrick felt the tears spilling down on his face. He didn't even feel them coming they just did. Massie would never know how much he had wanted to save her and Derrick would never understand that there was no possible way that he could. She already had her mind made up.

She wanted to die.


	8. Dylan

Derrick wasn't entirely sure how much more he could take. Having to listen to her broken voice talk over and over again was sheer torture but to know exactly why she no longer wanted to live was even harder. Being one of the reasons was the hardest. Picking himself up and dusting himself off Derrick made his way out of the cemetery. Where he was going he didn't know. All he knew was that he had to finish the tapes. For Massie.

So he took the tape out and switched sides. Just three more stories. Three more people. He knew by the end of this he wouldn't be able to look at any of them the same. Especially himself.

_Alright we're getting towards the end here and you'll be surprised by what is to come so to kind of tie you over until the next few stories I'll give you another easy story. If you haven't guessed by now this story has to deal with Dylan Marvil. Poor girl. I actually felt sorry for you, Dylan. Then I remembered what you did to me._

_So this was after the whole Josh situation. In fact it was just a few days ago. Because as I sit here making these tapes I've already decided to kill myself. My final decision. But don't worry, Dyl, you weren't the final reason of why I killed myself._

Derrick thought of Dylan. Sweet little Dylan. Maybe a tad too sweet, Derrick thought. Dylan was the kind of girl who didn't ever think for herself. She let other people do it for her. She did whatever it took to make all the wrong people happy. Like Alicia. Like Josh.

_Dylan Marvil was the President and founder of the I Hate Massie Club. Sure it had a ridiculous title but it stung none the less. I didn't expect that out of you Dylan. Alicia definitely, Claire maybe. But you? Never. Guess it goes to show how well you know people._

_Anyway it started out as a joke. Then it ended up being a website. I wonder if it'll still be up when I die. Thanks to Dylan who started the website it got a total of 10,305 fans. There aren't even that many people in our school! People I didn't even know, who didn't even know me, hated me. _

_That's when I knew that I had no one. Absolutely no one. Not even a stranger would give me a chance. All thanks to Dylan. Sweet Innocent Dylan. Like I said before there's more to a person than meets the eye. _

_And no one bothers to think about the consequences of their actions. If it hurts someone. Or upsets someone. Maybe even makes them want to end their life. You're all to blame, every last one of you on this list with the exception of Cam Fisher. _

_But here's what you guys never considered:_

_Maybe I'm to blame too._

Derrick thought for a second. It was true. Massie's death was at her own hand but they may have well as put the pills in her hand for the damage they had done.

_Well like Josh that wasn't so bad. As you can easily tell I'm already getting bored by these stories and I'm not as angry as I was at the beginning. But don't think that won't change my mind because it won't trust me. I guess you can say I'm tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of letting people make me feel this way._

_But I'm not done yet. I still have two more people to go. You may be surprised who ends up on this list._

And with that the tape stopped and so did Derrick. He looked around to see where he walked to and saw that he ended up across the street of a playground. There had to be about 10 kids running around playing. Oblivious all of them, he thought. They didn't know what was to come with getting older. They all look up to us and think 'hey I want to be a big kid' but in reality it's no fun.

You only get hurt easier. Skinned knees are practically welcomed after all the hurt that is inflicted as a teenager.

Life also gets harder. Things aren't as easy as they use to be. Or won't ever be again.

With these thoughts spinning through his brain Derrick turned and started back where he came from. He knew where he was going this time. It would probably be the last time he ever went there.

-.-

I know I'm a terrible person. This chapter's short and I haven't updated in forever.

I'm sorry.

Honestly and truly.

I could come up with excuses but I won't.

But I promise the next few chapters will be much longer.

Review because you're forgiving?

:)


	9. Massie

A/N: I'm very sorry to those of you who have been waiting eagerly for this chapter. I've kind of gone off the grid a bit because last month I was involved in a serious car accident with one of my best friends which resulted in him pretty much saving my life. Things are much better now and I've decided to return to writing stories again. So to those of you, who are still reading this out there, thanks a bunch! I'm forever grateful and blessed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The sun had set awhile ago and there was nothing but darkness that surrounded Derrick. He was still walking with cassette player in hand but he still had a little while to go before he made it to his destination. He had only two tapes to go. Two more reasons. He had made this far and knew that he could probably make it to the end but what was he going to do once all of these tapes were over. He was only the beginning.

Finding courage he pressed play on the tape and once again Massie started on a new person.

_Well we're almost to the end here; I bet all of you feel some sense of relief? Or maybe it's just me but either way I hope you know that you deserve this. And the consequences that come with this. _

_Anyway the next person on here is one that is only partially to blame for my death and that's only because they were the person to make this decision. Yes that's right kiddos I'm talking about me._

Derrick stopped for a second. Why would she even bother to put herself on here? He decided not to further question it because he would finally get to the bottom of why the hell she really decided to swallow those pills that night.

_I contemplated even putting myself on here but I finally decided to as a treat for you guys. You'll actually get to know what my final thoughts will be because as I speak now I'm holding the bottle of pills in my hand._

Derrick heard her shake the bottle and felt the blood rush out of his face. What a horrible noise.

_But don't worry I won't be swallowing them until the end of the next tape. Yes everyone you get to listen to me die. Won't that be fun? _

Derrick shook his head in disbelief. Was this really the Massie he had been with for a year? Had fallen in love with and even shared his darkest secrets with. It was amazing how quickly and suddenly a person could change.

_Yes I know this is all becoming a bit morbid but hey that's teen suicide for you. I'm about to become another statistic. Though none of you really deserve a reason as to why I am about to do this I'll tell you anyway._

_I simply cannot under any circumstances stand to live this life anymore. People say give it time, you'll be alright. But they don't understand that I'm not strong enough, that I'll probably never be strong enough. I'm completely and utterly broken. There's no going on for me. Life simply just isn't for me I guess. _

Derrick wanted so badly to crawl through the cassette player straight to Massie's voice and hold her back in his arms and make everything okay again. He would have to live with the guilt of knowing he wasn't ever there for her in the end. That hurt the most.

_I don't think you guys really understand what it's like for me to live day in and day out with this pain reverberating through me. Because that's all this is, is constant pain. Some days I'm lucky though. Some days I go completely numb inside and feel nothing at all. Those days I like the best. But then I forget what it's actually like to feel so soon enough I go straight back to nonstop heartache. _

Derrick by now was on the verge of breaking himself. He didn't know if he could stand to listen to another word she said. He just couldn't deal with the pain in her voice and how much she was bearing every day. While Derrick was out living his normal life Massie was slowly breaking herself every single day.

_So there you go kiddos, a look into the life I lead every day. Well soon enough there won't be any life to lead. I bet you guys wonder how I've become so content on my choice to end my life. It's simple really: no one wants me here. Not even my own father._

Massie's words struck Derrick's core. Massie's father? How could he not have wanted her? That was his only daughter. Then again even since the death of his beloved wife, Kendra, when Massie was thirteen he really hadn't been the same. He was at the office constantly and almost never saw Massie. Maybe there was more to the family than he actually knew.

Though he was about to find out because had finally arrived to his destination; a place where he had so many memories, good and bad. He would get more answers here and maybe even some closure.

Massie's house.

-.-.-.-.-

Sorry it's so short! The next will hopefully be longer. Once again thank you guys for being supportive! It's appreciated.


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